White, Male and Privileged

It’s good to be a white male. It’s great to be a white male. Actually it’s holy dick balls this is the most amazing gift in the world incredible to be a white male. When people tell me I can do what I want with my life, they mean it from the depths of their souls. Because I can! I can do whatever my fortunate little white boy heart desires.

God, A Sport’s Dynasty?

Anyone watch the National Championship game the other night? I did, and while it was most certainly one of the best college football games I have ever seen, it struck me as odd when Florida State’s quarterback, Jameis Winston, attributed the team’s success to God’s will in his post-game interview. I was like really? God was there for you guys to help you win this game? If that’s the case, maybe he should stop spending so much time winning championships, and start spending more time trying to end poverty…

Through with Jew

After hours of time spent thinking about the world, and people, and why I am a Jew, I came to the conclusion that based on our religious philosophies, it makes absolutely no sense to be Jewish. None! I mean don’t get me wrong, I love telling the ladies I’m a member of the tribe in order to give them a sense of financial security, and I thoroughly enjoy not having to miss football games on Sundays to go to church, but when I say it makes no sense to be Jewish, I’m talking about in the big scheme of things. The macrocosmic view if you will…

You Ain ‘t Cool Unless You Pee Your Pants

With the steady rise of pop culture and reality tv “stars” (Pitbull, the Kardashians, Chris Brown, The Real Housewives of who the hell cares…), the value of the word “cool” has hit rock bottom. Being cool used to mean wearing a Kurt Cobain flannel and telling people you didn’t like to go F*** themselves. Now it’s all about following the lives of a bunch of self-righteous Ass Jockeys, and using social media status as a way to gauge just how great we are…

10 Ways to be Good at College

College is an interesting time in a young person’s life. It’s a time to discover one’s self and to get away with doing as little work as possible while making your parents think you are busting your ass. Now that I have graduated (UGA ’09), I have realized that college is a “special time” and that you should not take it for granted. Below is a list of 10 things I believe College students should focus on doing to ensure they take full advantage of the best years of their lives. Enjoy the wisdom…

SLUT – Sweet, Loveable, and Utterly Tremendous

As much as I love sluts, I absolutely hate the word. Why on earth are we trying to convince the sexually active girls of the world, that what they are doing is wrong? There is nothing wrong with being awesome.

The Gateway Drug to Awesomness

I’m not going to argue with anyone who says that “marijuana is the gateway drug”. It is. But what no one ever seems to mentions is, the other side of that gate isn’t such a terrible place. Ever since I started abusing drugs (Sophmore year of college), my life has vastly improved. I started making better grades, listening to better music, and having much more enjoyable sex (mostly with myself)…

February – The Month that got Touched as a Kid

What is wrong with the month of February? It’s the shortest month, it’s the shittiest month, according to wikipedia, it’s National Bird Feeding Month (what? It’s so cold!), and as we all know, It’s the month where we celebrate Valentine’s Day, the most hated holiday of the year. Moral of the story, February blows, and it uses way too much teeth.