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It’s good to be a white male. It’s great to be a white male. Actually it’s holy dick balls this is the most amazing gift in the world incredible to be a white male. When people tell me I can do what I want with my life, they mean it from the depths of their souls. Because I can! Continue Reading
Hey Gang! The most funnest show in all of the land is back this Tuesday night at 7PM at the New York Comedy Club (241 E 24th st)! As always, the lineup is amazing, tickets are FREE (only for you), and we have a sweet awesome after party hang out sesh at the Globe (158 E23rd st). Email JDPinsly@gmail.com with your name to reserve a seat. We always have an incredible time, so if you want to not not have fun Tuesday night, you should totally come out. Here’s this week’s lineup. It’s absolutely gorgeous…
SEATON SMITH (Fox’s Mulaney)
MYQ KAPLAN (Comedy Central, Netflix)
SCOTLAND GREEN (Comedy as a 2nd Language)
LUIS J GOMEZ (Legion of Skanks)
PAT MONAHAN (Bad Karma)
JOE GERICS (co-producer)
JEREMY PINSLY (co-producer)
Musical Guest (via ipod):
Gonna be such an amazing night. Come party with us!
It’s good to be a white male. It’s great to be a white male. Actually it’s holy dick balls this is the most amazing gift in the world incredible to be a white male. When people tell me I can do what I want with my life, they mean it from the bottom of their souls. Because I can! I can do whatever my fortunate little white boy heart desires. I can get a job at a top level marketing agency by making 2 phone calls via my parents’ connections. I can get arrested 3 times and spend absolutely 0 hours in jail. I can run on the Texas Rangers’ baseball field in the middle of a game and not only avoid any consequences, but also get paid $1,100 by my company’s CEO. My life is #Blessed
The only hard part about my existence is that I have to live every day knowing I’ve been randomly gifted with an insanely unfair amount of privilege and opportunity. Between the private school, the drum and tennis lessons, the family ski vacations, the car at 16, and the paid for college tuition, I have enough white privilege to catapult 678 impoverished families above the poverty line and into the lush memory foam mattresses of the upper class. But alas, you can’t divvy up my type of privilege amongst the less fortunate like an appetizer sampler at a TGI Fridays. So the question then becomes, what can people in my position do? How can we possibly live with ourselves knowing that we have so much while other people have so little? The answer is simple – numb yourself to the world and keep on moving forward surrounded by a toxic cloud of ignorance and denial.
I kid! The real answer? Don’t be a dick!
Empathy is one of the most necessary and powerful emotions there is. It’s one of the few feelings not based in selfishness. I may have no idea what it’s like to be terrified of the police, but if you don’t feel the slightest bit of pain when you constantly watch black person after black person unjustly lose their lives to the people in charge of “protecting and serving,” you might want to look at yourself in the mirror and say “wow, I’m a monster.”
Of course #AllLivesMatter, but if you don’t focus on the lives that don’t currently seem to matter, all of our lives can’t ever matter. If your leg is broken, you focus on fixing the leg, and then you worry about all of the other bones mattering. Is it really that hard to just accept that we still have a race/sex/religion issue in this country? We may not be the generation responsible for slavery, the crusades, or Bill Cosby, but that doesn’t mean we have to be the one that does nothing to help alleviate problems that have existed for thousands of years. Acceptance is the first step.
Some of my friends don’t admit that white, male privilege exists, and it absolutely blows my mind. We went to one of the whitest, most prestigious private schools in the country. Privilege blasted us in the face on a daily basis. Check out this extremely diverse picture of the 2005 graduating class of Montgomery Bell Academy…
Yea, I know. We’re almost as white as Paul Ryan’s interns. I can’t even find my own picture in that group. It’s like playing Where’s Waldo when everyone is dressed up just like Waldo.
Now I’m not saying that my high school is a racist/sexist institution. They have all the right in the world to enroll whomever they want. What I am saying is that it is one fuck load of a coincidence that most of the people who can afford that school happen to be white. And why is that lack of diversity a problem? Because if you don’t have a diverse group of friends, you’ll never be comfortable around a diverse group of people or be able to understand their struggle. No one who went to my school knows about real struggle. Our biggest fears were having to settle for our safety schools and not being able to get beer on Friday night.
I’ve read the book Animal Farm. I’m aware that socialism is an idealistic goal that can never be achieved because there will always be selfish pigs around to ruin the fun for everybody. But that doesn’t mean we can’t do our best to narrow the wage gap. 1% of the world has pretty much all the power, and that is totally fucked! WWJD in this situation? Drink $1,000 bottles of scotch and masturbate to a painting of himself on the yacht he named “Sweet Jesus” or use his power to create a system that gives all people access to live the American dream?
If there was ever a time for the 1% to rebrand themselves as the group that did more for the world and less for themselves, now is that time. Climate change is real, society has already used up a year’s worth of natural resources in just 7 months, and we are on the verge of potentially electing the world’s most sociopathic dick weasel to be our president. We can’t let that happen! If Donald Trump and Kim Jong-Un and Vladimir Putin are in power at the same time, our only chance of survival will be if Frodo and Samwise can destroy the ring. The last thing we want to do is let those assholes drive us off a cliff yelling “O’Doyle rules!”
We have to change and we have to change now. The swastika used to be a symbol of peace and well being, and now it’s the most popular face tattoo among Nazi loving skinheads. If the swastika can change, we can change…just ya know, the other way around.
So c’mon white men, let’s pull a reverse swastika. Let’s end all of the evil white devil stereotypes, and use our unfair advantage for the betterment of the world. It’s time to suck up our pride and stubborn self-righteousness and listen. Listen to the black people who have to act like the Dave Chappelle white guy character every time they get pulled over for a traffic violation. Listen to the women who have to spend their lives battling through a gauntlet of creepy assholes. Listen to the Muslims who get arrested on airplanes for doing math. And most importantly, listen to all of the rational people in the world who say “let’s all definitely not vote for Donald mother fucking Trump.”
We can do this! Let’s make white power great again!
We’re back this Tuesday night at the New York Comedy Club for one of the most awesomist/funnest stand-up comedy shows in all of the land. As always we have an AMAZING lineup (this week we are featuring special guest THEO VON from the Real World!!!) and because you are all part of this super tremendous meetup group, tickets are FREE! Normally they’re $20, so yes, consider yourselves appreciated. There is a 2 drink minimum and we have an after party hang out sesh at The Globe (158 E23rd st). Here’s this week’s lineup. It’s awesome in every way…
THEO VON (Real World)
KENNY DEFORREST (Comedy at the Knitting Factory)
WILL MILES (Comedy at the Knitting Factory)
KATE WOLF (Gotham Live)
JOE GERICS (Co-producer)
JEREMY PINSLY (Co-Producer)
MIKE CANNON (MTV)
Email JDPinsly@gmail.com to RSVP, and we will add your name to the guest list. Gonna be such a fun night! Let’s Party!